Come back muse!!

So i used to get a lot of ideas for writing... to the point where it was kinda over kill... most notebooks i owned had something in it of some sort... As well as 3 gigs worth of stories on my computer (most of which lost to a crash)

But lately it's kind of... i don't know gone away... Like i sit down to write something and nothings there... or if i get a really good idea it just kinda peters out before i can put it to paper

What ever writing muse i once had needs to come back, i liked being able to look at a sheet of paper and come up with something to wrote... i mean having this is fine cause i can put whats going on and rant if I really need ti cause i can't get a hold of one of my friends to rant at them but still its not one of those coming up with an idea and being creative.... oh well here's hoping it comes back...

In other news i've realized that i've gotten better since the heart in blender thing... There was a song i couldn't listen to due to the ex putting my heart in a blender... No matter what it would make me start to cry...

Yeah that...

John Micheal Montgomery's I can love you like that... Now the reason why it's tear inducing fun is because the Ex and I had chosen that to be out first dance as husband and wife when we got married (which mind you wouldn't have been till like '12/'13 but still we had found one that worked for us... And after everything we went through i couldn't do it i couldn't bring myself to listen to it without crying... But hey it started to play today on the radio and i was fine i was even able to sing along without crying!!

So thankfully that part of my life is getting back to normal... well sorta... still wish i could find someone... doesn't have to be that love that'll last forever, happily ever after kinda thing...

yeah that...

Just having someone that is happy to see me (that's not my dog, friends or family though i love you all), someone to cuddle with me or just want to hold my hand, that whole knees go weak thing... yeah that's been a while.... moving on

So the 3 day hell weekend is coming up and for some gaia unknown reason i'm actually really excited

Not for the whole, you know dead on my feet, lack of sleep, punch drunk by Monday part, but the getting to spend 3 days out at the place i consider home and being with friends having an inappropriate amount of fun (and possibly alcohol, which will get picked up on Friday)

Not quite that much but still...

It also looks like the number of people in my tent will steadily increase as the weekend goes (sadly no cuddle buddy for me but still...) should be a fun weekend :)

And my mind has now left the building so it is time for me to get some sleep, good night world, till we meet again

proof that i can't think of titles

Alright so i survived second weekend out at fest WOOT! Was exhausted by Sunday.. but hey definite bonus was having a cuddle buddy Friday night, one point even woke up going damn i'm cold oh wait another body glom.. don't think he minded at all... and a full tent Saturday night (Woot for adding body heat to the tent)

Tried the new Chinese booth not to bad, i want to try the teriyaki chicken next weekend see if its good or not... One thing i definitely like getting when i'm starving is the nachos, HUGE mound of food for a little less than a full food book

I have figured out what i'm picking up costume wise next weekend... right now it's a debate between a plain black leather mug and a leather mug with a wolf howling at the moon (WoD fascination for the win) and a pair of black tights from Felix... Mind you as well as food for this weekend as well (yay for potluck with the guys) and booze... 3 day weekend... NEED BOOZE!

black mug from their site the don't have the wolf online sadly

This week is basically more work than anything else, second week with no day off but meh it means a shiny paycheck... tomorrow is shopping for fabric for a few shirts for fest as well as getting my contact order... Probably gonna stop by and see Gareth at MoA since I'll be that way anyways and stop by and see Doc so i can get her the fabric for the shirts...

I also got my person for romance wars she's actually the gal who runs it, i have an idea for first weekend, a little saying thing and a friendship bracelet... final weekend i'm going to work on making her a scarf here's hoping i can get it done

Alright tis all for now need something to munch and sleep

Festie fun

So opening weekend went AMAZING i had a blast with the guys and we did awesome! Tomorrow is weekend #2 and not gonna lie i'm excited... Currently planning on not even going home between work and when i grab Gareth to head out there... Woot for having him out there! Happy for him cause to him to its home, but hey it means i have someone to wonder the grounds with and possibly even another warm body in the tent...

not our campground but close enough

I sadly have no extra cash for this weekend, but hey yay food books so i can eat something, though it also means that i don't have money for booze (BOO! sad festie) or to buy anything, but i should live.. all else fails i'll see what we have around the house... Though one weekend there is something that i want to try making

Yes that is Skittles Vodka

Fun alcohol with crazy people this will end well :) i hope.... But yes all in all definitely looking forward to this weekend, great friends, great food and a lot of fun! Hope you all have an awesome weekend! I know I will!

So in 17.67 hrs till i get to go home... For those who don't know home to me is the MN Ren Fest...

Spot the Gareth :P (Also OLD school picture of the cast)

Or if you prefer

Front Gate

It's where I gained my second family as well as meeting one of my best friends, this year i get to play on street with 'my' boys, which after doing the Press Event we are gonna kick ASS. Now I'm excited as all hell as well as terrified! Mostly cause what myself and Much the Miller's son have to do is kick MAJOR ass and get invited back next year (hopefully with full PAID contracts).... People have told me to be find but with everything that's happened to me over the past 6 or so months i'm kinda approaching this with 2 minds about it....

made me giggle

One cautious one excited as all HELL!!

But i digress, as of 10am this (yesterday) morning i now have contacts! woot for making my life easier, the part that kinda fucked me over was the fact that i now no longer have the money to get a proper bodice for this season, i have a gown (bodice with the longer skirt) and a cheater bodice (doesn't do the proper thing).

What angers me the most about this is that my mom had said she'd help me pay for any glasses/optical thing and she hasn't done a damn thing to help with this, whether it be take it off what i owe her or give me the money.... only thought on that was SSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

 So now it looks like i'm stuck with what i got till 3rd weekend... should be fine but at the same time CRAP, going to at least try and get a second set of tights....

Moving on, love department still sucks but so goes, there is one guy that flirts with me at karaoke and seems to like me... he's not there quite as often but we'll see what happens.... Home life sucks ass, not horribly surprised, working on the moving out thing slowly but surely... will more than likely have to put it on pause till after the run but so goes.... My friends are awesome

never done this but still :)

Alice and Gareth helped me with Wash (my car) today and got what was wrong fixed on it, got to see Jo earlier this week which was awesome...

I know i should be getting sleep i do, that whole needing to get up and get stuff done before i head out tomorrow is a good plan but now tired... gonna try and get the rest of my crap together... that and do something crafty as well

Night all

Alright so sitting at home waiting to go out the MN Renaissance Festival grounds with a friend to set up my tent i figured I'd post something... Might as well right? Warning i figured out how to had images and such so many will be in this

So the 'date' went well... i think... Now the reason the word date is in quotations is due to at least once big fact, we spent a majority of it sitting with his friends

I mean he paid for my dinner and asked to get together and again do something just the two of us... but its' been just short of 2 weeks and i've gotten a whole lot of nothing in response back from him... Getting to the point where i'm about to take my friends advice and possibly just give up all together...

Moving on to happier news, my best friend is engaged!! Will have to glomp her and her fiance when i see them next (currently they are off/coming back from a madtown trip)

Yay!!

I'm so very happy and excited for her! As well as being happy for Alice and the Mountain because they're happy and everything else... Just so very much wish my love like would follow suit you know? Hell, the Ex is even with someone else ... which that one makes me pull a

Dont get me wrong i'm fine with exs finding someone... but that god damn quick? Really?

FML....

So again makes me so very much looking forward to the start of the MN Ren Fest... Cause hey i'll be home and have my other family and my friends...

Insert Happy Dance Here

Though a few people have said they may try and pull Operation: Find Me a Boy... Not sure how i feel about it..

I'm yeah it'd be nice to find someone, cause cuddle buddies are awesome out there and having the whole weak in the knees, butterflies in the stomach, head spinning, feeling attractive to someone would be cool to feel again...

Something to that effect yeah

....What now? oh yeah sorry I guess this isn't the most feel good post but oh well... now to go get my game face on act like its all good, protect myself from the mosquitoes and go set up a tent...

grr arg

Wish me luck!

have fun storming the castle